I was taken aback and then chuckled as a new friend asked me, "Is your husband a chaplain?"
"Will? He's a great husband, fantastic father, man of the Lord - to all that - YES! But a chaplain?!? No." I replied, "Why do you ask?"
When you've walked a path lovingly sculpted by the Creator, you can't help but be awed and humbled. The journey of the Squire Ohana (family) has been curved and straight, smooth and rough, through gardens and into deserts, walked in obedience and hindered by rebellion. Yet every step of our adventure has been mapped out by a most gentle and loving Guide. Resting in His sovereignty melts away any feelings of anxiety we might have as we've taken each new step.
Within four months of being reunited we were married! What a recipe for potential disaster.... Mix one Army Captain, one headstrong executive, two beautiful daughters from Will's first marriage, two locations, ego, pride, foolishness and stir... Well, 13 years later we've defied the odds (all Glory to God). That first year began our initial steps of faith in the "Refiner's fire".
Interestingly, the foundation of this path isn’t rocks or asphalt, but people. God, in His infinite wisdom, blessed me time and again with just the right person to teach me and hold my hand as I made my way down this path of life. God gave us five remarkable children. As each one came along, they revealed new facets of God’s Love, and taught me how to recognize and overcome my own faults!
Suddenly, on Oct 10, 1994, after a hasty marriage ceremony driven by an unexpected alert for Will to deploy to the Middle East, I found myself both a new wife and step-mother of two. When I left work on the previous Thursday, I was a young, engaged, executive living the high life in Washington DC. I came back on Tuesday married to a soldier with children! That day rocked my world and I’m glad to be still reaching out and holding on for balance
But God was laying a path with these new people, each one a new brick on the road He wanted me to follow. My husband is the mortar that holds it all together. Because he loves me unconditionally I was able to admit I was so scared and alone. I could laugh, I could cry and because the Lord had made Will so strong, I could work through a lot of anger I'd allowed to fester for too long. And Will took it all, continues to love it all and gently says, "Honey, I think there is a better way." He doesn’t just say it ....he lives it...he walks it.
Our beautiful girls, Sydney and Kayley, were the catalyst for so much of the journey. Now 19 & 18, I would look into their then (age 6 & 7) very young eyes and want to do right by them. (I still do) I knew they deserved the best life had to offer and if I was put on their path I knew somehow, someway I was going to be held responsible for some portion of their development. Teaching them "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!" was not what God had in mind. I had a long way to go.
God taught me that love cannot be healthy if it is driven by selfish purposes. But, our current world culture teaches the opposite. So many "self help" books...so many ways to make sure we each can come out "on top" and look good doing it. Only one place I turned, truly directed me to love those around me without an agenda. That one "Him-help" book was of course, the Bible.
Please, understand this process wasn't (isn't) easy and it wasn't (isn't) pretty. But the deliberate journey was(is) absolutely necessary to understand that the nature of love cannot be selfish or self serving. Many times I failed and was thoroughly embarrassed by my outbursts. That said, I always was able to justify my anger and indignation because quite frankly the situations would be stressful and many people around us would support what appeared to be righteous anger.
But no matter how much my anger could seem to be right, it wasn't. It took a long time to learn that there are times in this world that we need to be angered by how evil operates and be motivated to take Godly action. However, when it comes to family and friends angry outbursts rarely lead to lasting fruit. I could win a battle of being "right" but I would loose a long term relationship that should be built in love instead of pride.
During our first years, God continued to lead me, encourage me and yet I was chastened. I learned when God chastens it is one of the most loving things He can do. I would rather have sin pointed out, disciplined and taught a better way, then continue in disobedience and really end up with a can of worms. Through bible study and terrific Christian fellowship, I moved along the path, sometimes skipping, sometimes limping… all the while Will’s there simply loving.
Along came our third child, Willard, "IV" (now age 9). He was a medical miracle and a delight. As he grew, I was blessed with the gift of seeing the best parts of my husband and me played out right before our eyes. Days were filled with joy but I also saw the yuckiest aspects of my own temper played out in son & mom's tantrums as we crawled through the daunting challenges an infant offers.
"Where would those outbursts come from?" I would ask. Will would incredulously raise an eyebrow and shake his head. "You mean me??!?!?! I thought I was so much nicer?"
"Yes, you are certainly getting more patient and kind but there's a judgmental/impatient/ (fill in the blank) layer that IV (at age 18 months) has already mastered." Will would say firmly yet lovingly. All the while he continued to encourage me in my bible studies and artistic pursuits. ow, the added blessing of overcoming my natural tendency towards emotionalism is how IV, too, blossoms when he uses other outlets to express his anxiety or anger. To observe our son reach for his bible, pray without hesitation or express himself with artwork as life’s challenges meet him continues to bring tears of admiration to my eyes. It is a rich blessing to see passion channeled for God's glory.
At that time though, I sought improvement for the sake of ensuring our son didn't fall into the rut of allowing emotional outbursts to fuel his walk. And, of course, I did desire to deepen my relationship with the Lord. The next couple of years were ones where I earnestly learned and tried but I tried the way a two year old tries. I'd look over my shoulder, shuffle or stamp my feet and whine, "This is hard, pick me up, I don't wanna', isn't this good enough?"
God's answer was a simple, "No", and it came in the form of a precious package originating in Johannesburg, South Africa.
Through a series of total "God steps" (an entire story in itself) We were blessed to bring home two absolute angels from South Africa, Sibongiseni Pierre Joshua "PJ" (then age 21 months) and Teresita Veronica "Roni" (age 8 months). We all arrived back home 26 August 2001 to Will's duty station of Camp Zama, Japan.
Our two youngest are at an age (now 7 and 6) that to go into the details of their beginnings, I believe violates their privacy. What became miracle after miracle validated our decision to become a
family. However, to share it now as my testimony starts to infringe upon PJ and Roni's testimony. I feel what is most important to our family is simply that we "are." We are not a multi-cultural family or a blended one or an adoptive one but simply a family and the seamlessness of that statement is one of my most treasured gifts from God.
PJ alone answered the prayers I prayed in my early 20's for patience. I just had no idea what a sense of humor our Good Lord had acting on those prayers. Though not funny at the time (and sometimes even now), I either was going to allow "love" to be a verb and exercise patience for the sake of that love or I was going to implode. I am a firm believer that God will place people in your life to act as catalysts and mirrors and then there are those you are meant to return the favor. Pierre Joshua is certainly all of those things for me. The day I recognized that and stopped struggling was another day forward in joy rather than dragging along in angst.
Through PJ our family has been blessed to learn the lesson in 1 Tim 6:6 "But Godliness with contentment is great gain." PJ is joyful in all that he does and rarely looks back. His smile and laugh literally light up any room he enters. We have learned that to be satisfied with the content of who God makes each of us to be is a huge source of peace. Once we appreciate the purpose of our walk is to be played out for God's glory and not our selfish expectations, the journey miraculously becomes a joy and not a chore. Again, the comfort gained from experiencing a Loving, Guiding Hand is simply not to be found among the world's definitions.
I could fill a chapter book with the struggles and victories Sonbongiseni (Zulu for child of joy/child of thankfulness) Pierre Joshua and I have shared. It is almost exhausting to hand my brain over to all of those memories. He and I have brought out the best and the worst in each other. So, gratefully, I am able to say that the "worst" has longer and longer intervals in between.....that is a total "God thing". To know we were Hand-Chosen for each other helps during the rough patches in the road. It get's back to staying on track and understanding there is a purpose to life that goes beyond our immediate understanding and submitting ourselves to it.
Lastly, (at least for now) there is Veronica (age 6). I tell her all the time she is my gift for trying so hard to be a good mommy. She'll look at me, giggle, smile her dimpled smile and then proceeds to do something so rascally, even those rambunctious boys never dream of topping. She could be the poster girl for "Be careful what you ask for because God might just give it to you!" And I wouldn't have it any other way. I have no problem being a strong disciplinarian with the rest of the brood but Roni broke the mold. All the lessons I learn go out the window. She requires me to be strong yet tender when all I want to do is indulge.
I see if I let her become the perfect, pink-robed, princess (she was made to be!) all would suffer under her reign. Through Roni, I've learned love must always speak the truth and be sure to hold us to a higher standard.... God's standard. The tempta
tion to indulge her is ever present. I believe what she has helped do, is soften all the edges of our family. Everyone else gets indulged, too, as we seek to make sure we have the right color sprinkles for her requested ice cream sundae.
We just cannot wait to see how and where the Lord is going to lead each of our children. Their gifts are many and yet each has been given a challenge to overcome as well. The legacies each will weave with God’s help will be rich indeed.
I feel so blessed and fortunate my children and husband have been so forgiving. I pray daily they see it that way as well. I shudder to think about how hollow my life would be without this wild and CRAZY bunch! I thank God He loves us this much to challenge, teach and shape all our lives. It is only through His Grace and Mercy and NOT my own intellect and good works it makes any sense. There is no more revolutionary concept then God came down to earth, died taking on all our sins, rose again to life eternal and minute by minute offers us Himself to save and help. Grace and Mercy. Those two words could be said a thousand times and still be meaningless until you truly understand how miserable you are without Him and how much you need Him alone to personally offer Grace and Mercy.
It is Christ's footsteps walking in Love forever, I long to follow. I don't desire to be perfect (cuz' it aint' never gonna' happen). Knowing daily I try to show myself approved by Him alone and accept the challenge of trying to see the "better way" in Him is what makes my "walk in Love" such a joy.
If you've read the previous paragraphs and understand the message that God loves, saves, and helps you then I will know I was obedient unto Him. I started out my journey believing I could do it all within my own intelligence, strength and talents. I was so painfully wrong. Looking back I am able to say with confidence that’s, "O.K." In my brokenness God’s strength is shining through. Daily I continue to turn to Him as my provision.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We pray you, too, experience the peace and love that comes from knowing Jesus Christ. If all this sounds so strange to you and you have questions, feel free to email us. I’ll do my best to answer and be very honest when I don’t have an answer. We encourage you to plug into a group of Christian believers who continually study the Holy Bible, praise Him and encourage one another.
Me KeAloha Pumehana, (with much Love)
Dawn
and through their beautiful brown eyes and I was held to a higher standard than I knew existed. My steps grew confident and yet were far more gentle due to their sweet influence . My gratitude for their pure goodness is eternal. 
